6 Tips for Dealing with Your Spouse’s Annoying Habits
Does your spouse chew loudly? Or does she slurp her coffee? Whether the habits is just crass or plain gross, your spouse’s annoying habits can be overwhelming. In many cases, these annoying habits may be just small enough to drive you insane. Even worse, most married couples suggest this list of habits grows over time. In reality, it may not mean that your spouse has added to their list of annoying habits, but the “honeymoon period” is over. Before you decide to call it quits and visit a family law attorney in Tallahassee, use the following tips to deal with those annoying habits of your spouse.
Step One: Be Honest
First things first, your spouse cannot change a habit if they are unaware it bothers you. In a calm and relaxed voice and manner simply be honest with your spouse and let them know what they are doing is annoying you. The majority of family law attorneys in Tallahassee suggest that the breakdown in communication is one of the top reasons marriages end in divorce. Instead of keeping your feelings bottled up to later explode, explain to your spouse that it isn’t them you want to change, just the annoying habit.
Step Two: Commit to Change
In order for the habit to change, both you and your spouse must be cognizant of the importance of ridding the annoying habit. While the annoying habit may seem small at first, it can actually drive a wedge between you and your spouse. In the worst case scenario, this annoying habit could result in visiting a family law attorney in Tallahassee. As a result, it’s imperative for both parties to make a serious commitment to change for a long and healthy marriage.
Step Three: Work as a Team
Since, no one likes or enjoys being criticized, it’s important to explain that you have a problem with the behavior, not the person. It’s equally important to not point out habits unless both parties are prepared and willing to change them. One of the worst things you can do is spend hours knit-picking and criticizing each other, and then do nothing. This means you should be ready to create a plan and work at it as a team. One great practice used by family law counselors and mediators in Tallahassee is to have each person write a list of everything about their partner that gets on their nerves. Then each person circles the top three, and those are the habits you work on as a team. It’s also important to keep your sense of humor throughout the process.
Step Four: Empathy
When it comes to bolstering marital ties, empathy is second to none. Regardless of the problem, it’s always best to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Initially, it could be very hurtful to hear your spouse complaining. But it’s important to understand how much they have possibly toiled over the issue in their head and is finally opening up to you. You should also remember that they don’t want to be annoyed. It’s vital to appreciate and empathize with your spouse’s perspective.
Step Five: Express the Feelings
After you and your spouse have created a plan, you should avoid allowing the annoyance build. When you spouse does the annoying thing, simply say “Honey, that is really annoying me again, can you please stop it?” This simple tactic will prevent you from harboring and storing anger inside. In most cases, your spouse could have genuinely forgot and isn’t trying to annoy you on purpose.
Step Six: Be Patient
Old habits truly die hard, so you can’t expect any overnight miracles. Even if this practice doesn’t seem to be working, you must remain patient and continue to work at it. Initially, it will be difficult. However, most experts say that it takes at least 21 days of continuous practice to break old habits or start new ones.
What About Mannerisms?
While annoying habits can be remedied by applying the previous six steps, personal mannerisms are different. For example, if you don’t like the way your spouse cleans up after themselves, the way they talk or don’t talk, or anything else similar to an addiction, you may want to seek out professional support. Ask your family law attorney in Tallahassee about referrals to specialists.