10 Highly Successful Co-parenting Tips
Living with a chronic illness, such as depression, requires you to pay special attention on your well being on a daily basis and create balance. If you have been through a Tallahassee divorce with child custody involved, co-parenting can be an overwhelming and seemingly impossible process. Co-parenting, shared parenting, or joint custody explains the process of raising a child with an ex, which is influenced by each parent’s interactions. In other words, if you are parenting in a healthy and productive manner, but your ex isn’t; your child will be at risk for developmental issues. The goal of any parent should be to create a healthy and fostering environment for the children, but this is often easier said than done. Continue reading for a few of the most successful Tallahassee co-parenting tips from the best Tallahassee family law firm.
1) Accept What is Out of Your Control
One of the top Tallahassee co-parenting tips is to accept what is out of your control. Instead of wasting time trying to change the person you have continually failed to change in the marriage, channel this energy into the relationship with your kids. However, learning to accept the things you cannot change or control isn’t an easy process because it typically ends in pain. Even so, it’s important to continue moving through the pain. It’s best to avoid spending your time trying to change your ex and use it to make your kid happy, no matter what your ex does.
2) Identify Your Emotions
In any co-parenting relationship, it’s vital to recognize and acknowledge your emotions to set the stage for a rational and even business-like co-parenting relationship. While this may sound like a clinical and cold way to address it, this Tallahassee co-parenting tip works. It’s best to get in a habit of noticing how you feel as those intense emotions arise. This practice will allow you to be more reflective instead of reactive. Best of all, when you are aware of your current emotional state, you can determine whether it’s the best time to have that uncomfortable conversation with your ex.
3) Identify What’s Really Triggering You
While it would be nice if everything went smoothly, this is rarely the case. In any co-parenting relationship, there will be issues, situations, or dynamics that drive you insane. If you find yourself becoming overly frustrated, it may be time to dive deeper and ask yourself the following questions:
- What is really happening here?
- What was my emotional state before this interaction?
- Why does this interaction bother me so much?
- Is there an alternative narrative that I should interpret this situation in?
- Am i simply attempting to control the situation?
- Am I attempting to satisfy my ex and why am I doing so?
4) Focus on the Positives
Several divorced parents in Tallahassee bring a wealth of guilt associated with the effects of the divorce on the children. As a result, it’s veryeasy to focus on all of the things going wrong and forget the things that are right. On the contrary, it’s vital to take time to notice those good moments. These moments do not have to be extraordinary or out of this world, they just need to be good. When you are not with your children, take a second to imagine those moments and feel good about them. It’s important to understand that your ex cannot take those moments away from the kids or you. You should also never diminish the power of the positive effects those same moments have on your children.
5) Focus on Concrete Goals and Values
After the separation, it’s important for you to reconnect with the things that are important to you as a parent, such as education. Many divorced parents in Tallahassee choose to create a mission statement outlining their intentions for the child. A few common co-parenting mission statements or family mission statements are:
- My children are not responsible for my feelings.
- My children will enjoy two parents who are kind to each other.
- The well-being of our child is the top priority.
- My child’s education will not suffer because of the divorce.
6) Respond Instead of React
It’s a fact, your ex will say something or several things to really get under your skin. When this happens, it’s important you do not react. In the co-parenting relationship, it’s your right to set boundaries to keep the lines of communication open. For example, when your ex says something to frustrate you, you can simply respond with “Can I call you back later?” In most instances, those moments between the offensive act and your response will provide you with the time you need to reflect on your own state of mind. Most importantly, it could provide you with enough time to get back in touch with your own values.
8) Empathy Is Key
In the midst of a heated discussion, your first thought may not be to utilize empathy. However, you should always put yourself in the other person’s shoes or consider their point of view. If your ex has a seemingly outrageous concern, it’s best to pause for a second before your respond. Ask yourself if there is any legitimacy to their concern. On the other hand, if you are initiating the concern, take a second and use empathy to think of what the co-parent may be thinking. Then, ask yourself if there is really a cause for concern and alarm.
9) Foster Healthy Communication
One of the worst times to have a substantial conversation with your ex or talk about important issues is at pick-up or drop-off times. These times should be when you present a united parenting front for the child to see. If you must have a potentially controversial conversation with your ex, it’s best to schedule a phone call, an outside meeting, or do it through email. In all fairness, email usually works best because it allows you the chance to review what you have written and remove the emotion out of the communication. When creating your email, make sure you use proper etiquette for emailing your ex, even if you are going through a divorce. It’s vital to understand everything you say can be submitted as evidence in a divorce or child custody battle, so choose your words wisely.
10) Sometimes You Gotta Fake It Until You Make it
No one can deny the pain and suffering associated with a Tallahassee divorce. At the same time, it’s vital to remember time is the most essential ingredient to forging a healthy relationship with your ex. Time allows you to heal and move forward. However, you can not place time on hold for the children. As a result, you may have to find a healthy way of navigating the overwhelming emotions associated with co-parenting and the divorce until you are feeling better. Simply put, sometimes you may just have to fake it until you make it.
Tallahassee Co-Parenting Tips Work
Since no one is perfect, you may or may not get it right the first time when it comes to co-parenting. However, you must continue to try to forge a working relationship with your ex for the benefit of the children. In the midst of the emotional, financial, and mental pain and suffering associated with a divorce, it’s vital to always put the children first. One of the best ways to ease the pain associated with a divorce is to use the preveiously mentioned Tallahassee co-parenting tips along with the best Tallahassee divorce firm and attorneys.